Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Dream: Killing Abusers

Recently, I've had several dreams about my sister.  In the dreams, she always looks only vaguely like my sister and intellectually I "know" she is my sister during the dream, but I'm not sure whether or not she truly represents my sister.  I think it's possible she represents alters, myself as a child (she's 6 years younger than me), or perhaps even my best friend during childhood (we used to say we were twin sisters).

Regardless, I have been having many dreams about her for the last handful of months.

(For: molestation, violence)

I have also been having many dreams about killing people by smashing their head into the ground or beating their heads with objects.  I haven't been able to figure out what these dreams mean other than that they indicate some sort of repressed anger or rage. 

So anyway, last night I had a very upsetting dream:

I was sitting on a couch and to my right there were two men.  I saw this from the first person perspective, which is rare for me and everything was very clear, although I didn't recognize anything from my real life.  

The man farthest away from me on the couch had dark hair and I believe some stubble, he was probably around 40 or so years old.  A young girl walked over to the couch and stood in front of him, she was probably 9-11 years old and was wearing an old brown T-shirt that just barely covered her panties.  She looked very somber and didn't react to anything that happened throughout the dream, never speaking or exhibiting any sort of emotions. 

While I was sitting there on the couch, the man closest to me occasionally poked the other man in the face and looked angry.  The other man didn't really react and it took me several seconds to comprehend that the man farthest way was molesting the little girl and the man closest to me was poking him every time he touched her to try to get him to stop without saying anything out loud. 

When I looked over at the girl, I saw him rub her right thigh with his hand and then reach under the hem of her shirt and pull down the band of her panties.  He stuck two fingers between her legs. 

The details of this scene are extremely clear: the shape and appearance of the girl's body and genital area, the movement of his hands, the way he was touching her.  It's all still disturbingly clear. 

As soon as I saw what he was doing I started screaming at him to stop.  I don't know what I had in my hands, but it was something heavy and hard.  I started hitting him on the back of the head with it.  I kept hitting him until he died.  I took the girl out to the driveway and there were two men in a car.  I don't remember, but I must have recognized them or something, because I bashed the two of them in the head until they died. 

I can't remember much more of the dream, but I know I was trying to protect the girl and she didn't say anything and seemed catatonic. 

1 comment:

  1. i have thses kind of dreams and have d.i.d too im in therapy for the first time is there a way out of this HEll. xxx