The Key to Staying Present and Fighting Dissociation

The last few days have been phenomenal for me.  I've been working really hard at staying present in my mind, body, and emotions and I feel wonderful.  I've heard many times that staying present is the key to healing from dissociation, but none of the exercises for mindfulness ever really worked for me.  I was unable to get any more present no matter what I did.

Over the last few weeks I have discovered the key to staying present and fighting dissociation and it's acceptance.  When you've been falling back on dissociation as a primary coping technique for years, most, or even all of your life, it's very difficult to break out of that habit, because it's uncomfortable.  It's scary to not dissociate.

For me, the key to being able to break out of dissociation was simply acceptance.  It sounds so simple, but it's so much harder than it seems.  I thought I had accepted myself for a long time, but once I truly accepted myself I realized that what I felt before was just an illusion.

So here is a contract that I am subscribing myself to, I urge you to try to do the same.  The only way to feel safe and secure with being present is to accept everything that it entails, so here goes.

Starting now, I vow to put forth my greatest effort towards achieving and/or maintaining acceptance of myself.  This includes, but is not limited to the following acceptances:

• I accept my emotions as necessary, healthy, and valid, even if those feelings are scary, painful, uncomfortable, negative, aggressive or intense.  
• I accept that uncomfortable feelings will pass if I do not hold onto them. 
• I accept my body as my own. 
• I accept the sensations that go along with owning my body, even when they are painful, scary, uncomfortable, or sexual. 
• I accept that negative sensations in my body are normal and will pass. 
• I accept my past, both the things that I remember and the things that I have not yet remembered.  
• I accept that the past was not my fault even if someone told me it was, even if I seemed to enjoy abuse or seemed to be acting of my own free will.  
• I accept that I can have a happy and productive life despite my past. 
• I accept all parts, alters, fragments, and dissociated pieces of myself as a valid and necessary part of my survival. 
• I accept ownership for the experiences and emotions of all parts, alters, fragments, and dissociated pieces of myself. 
• I accept that I will make mistakes and that's okay.  I am doing the best that I can.  If I don't know something or can't do something it is because I was not given the opportunity to learn it. 
• I accept that I am a strong, lovable, beautiful person and no one and nothing can change that.