Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Snoop

The part of me that I call "the snoop" was created purely to acquire information and to interrogate people.  The snoop tries to solve problems by looking for the answers through nosiness, questioning, and research.  She has what I would call a "watch list" of words that she looks out for, because they are things that bother or scare the other parts.  These words change as the concerns of the parts change. Whenever anything on her watch list comes up in conversation, she comes out to interrogate and investigate.  She is very serious about spying. 

The first time I remember the snoop appearing was when we went on vacation to an amusement park when I was six.  I had an intense phobia of fireworks, I absolutely loathed them.  I asked my parents if one of the shows we were going to would have fireworks.  They swore and swore that there weren't going to be any. 

Well, there were fireworks.  There was a whole firework show and it scared the crap out of me.  I was absolutely furious!  When we returned home from vacation I found the brochure that had the show descriptions and ticket information.  Right below the name of the show was a description that said it included fireworks.  They had lied to me.

I was so upset.  I felt like I had been terribly betrayed and while this didn't particulary surprise me (I'm sure far worse betrayals had already transpired), I was disturbed by the lie, but pleased with having the power to find things out on my own.  I'm not sure if this was the origination of the snoop part or if she was already around prior to this memory, but either way it's a good example of what the snoop does. 

I know the snoop is around when I find myself reading over people's shoulders, going through notebooks and calendars, listening at doors, eavesdropping on phone conversations, etc.  She has a deep fear of people talking about her or making decisions about her life without her knowledge.  Because of this, she has incredibly sharp hearing and excellent interrogation skills. 

While I know that this part is just trying to keep me safe, it is often an exhausting part to have around.  It works nearly constantly and will not stop digging for information until thoroughly satisfied, which may never happen.  This part also upsets people because if I'm caught snooping around or interrogating people it becomes clear that I have a lot of distrust.

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